Reflections in Discovery Bay

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Happy Mother’s Day!

In May 2012, Time magazine started a firestorm with a cover that asked, “Are you Mom enough?” It was an article about attachment parenting being extended beyond the baby year(s). We men hear a phrase like “Man up!” But I have never heard the phrase, “Mom up!” However, when we look at the expectations that we place on our mothers that we get from the world, it is surprising that more moms don’t just check out. The expectations are unreasonable but there they lurk, as snares that whisper to our mothers. Is the house clean and neat? Are the children well behaved? Are the meals tasty and healthy? Is the husband satisfied all the time? In addition, there are the insecurities driven by work performance that also taunt our mothers.

The truth is we expect our moms to be perfect. This is because our mothers are usually the first representation of a God-like figure in our life. They are the ones who love us. And that love is an unconditional love. As I have said before, (and I know this might seem insensitive), a baby is the most selfish person on the planet. Its only communication method is to scream or cry. And yet, out of love, a mother is able to interpret all of those different sounds, which all sound the same to me, and she brings comfort to her child. Why? Her beloved is suffering, and that is reason enough for her to do whatever it takes.

One of the things that I decry in today’s western society is the disparagement of motherhood. I believe in today’s society, motherhood is truly a calling. With all of the forces arrayed against children, to steal, kill, or destroy their destinies as God’s children, for a mother to faithfully show up every day is a monumental request. Yet moms do this. They do this through both the mundane and the frightful. This is no less monumental whether they are picking up the dirty sock in the living room for the umpteenth time or they are taking the child to the hospital with a concussion. They bring all they have, with the best they can do, all the time.

As you may gather, I am grateful, not just for my mom (who is wonderful!), but for all moms! I want to say this:

1. Recognize that whatever the standard is, it is ridiculous. If you are a mom, accept your limitations as God given. You are not called to perfection. You are called to be faithful and obedient to God with what you have and who you are, not some worldly perception of perfect motherhood. How can I accept that I am already accepted by God, just as I am?
2. Be grateful for your mom. If your mom is living, be and do what you can to be a better child, even if you are an adult. How can I help my mom be the person that God wants her to be?
3. Recognize that because of the world in which we live, moms will never be enough. They were never meant to be. Time magazine got the question wrong. It is a question that never should have been asked. A mom with God is enough. If it is not enough, it is not the fault of God. It is not the fault of the mom. It is the fault of my perception. How can I re-frame my perception to accept and love my mom and other moms, just as they are?
4. If you, as a child or a mom, feel weary in your doing good all the time, I ask you to hear Jesus, “Come to me, you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.” In Jesus, you can find comfort for your soul that will bring you both joy and peace. In Jesus, you can hear, “Well done.” How can I come to Jesus and give Him my burdens that are weighing me down?

Hoping we all have a Happy Mothers’ Day!